'They' as Singular Pronoun, or The Old Man Has a Sad

Since I think grammar begins as description of what people actually do and rises to prescription only in part for reasons of clarity - so many language choices are caste markers - I should be more sympathetic to this shift in usage. Sexism in language is nasty and real: 'If a child shows an interest in science, he should be encouraged….'

Still, this useful and commonsense change clunks in my ear. From the oxford dictionaries website - though I suppose anyone can stick the word 'oxford' into "their" website's name.

‘He or she’ versus ‘they’

It’s often important to use language which implicitly or explicitly includes both men and women, making no distinction between the genders. This can be tricky when it comes to pronouns. In English, a person's gender is explicit in the third person singular pronouns (i.e., he, she, his, hers, etc.). There are no personal pronouns that can refer to someone (as opposed to something) without identifying whether that person is male or female. So, what should you do in sentences such as these?

If your child is thinking about a gap year, ?can get good advice from this website.

A researcher has to be completely objective in ? findings.

In the past, people tended to use the pronouns he, his, him, orhimself in situations like this:

If your child is thinking about a gap year, hecan get good advice from this website.

A researcher has to be completely objective in his findings.

Today, this approach is seen as outdated and sexist. There are other options which allow you to arrive at a ‘gender-neutral’ solution, as follows:

•  You can use the wording ‘he or she’, ‘his or her’, etc.:

If your child is thinking about a gap year, he or she can get good advice from this website.

A researcher has to be completely objective in his or her findings.

This can work well, as long as you don’t have to keep repeating ‘he or she’, ‘his or her’, etc. throughout a piece of writing.

• You can make the relevant noun plural, rewording the sentence as necessary:

If your children are thinking about a gap year,they can get good advice from this website.

Researchers have to be completely objective in their findings.

This approach can be a good solution, but it won’t always be possible.

• You can use the plural pronouns ‘they’, ‘them’, ‘their’ etc., despite the fact that, technically, they are referring back to a singular noun:

If your child is thinking about a gap year, theycan get good advice from this website.

A researcher has to be completely objective in their findings.

Some people object to the use of plural pronouns in this type of situation on the grounds that it’s ungrammatical. In fact, the use of plural pronouns to refer back to a singular subject isn’t new: it represents a revival of a practice dating from the 16^thcentury. It’s increasingly common in current English and is now widely accepted both in speech and in writing.

You can read more about the debate surrounding the use of ‘he or she’ versus ‘they’ on the Oxford Dictionaries blog.

Later in the day: Google is …? Google is quicksand. You just keep on reading even as the cat scratches at the door and the children go hungry. Thus, this pungency from the Telegraph in the UK:

 One rule of grammar that has, apparently, been in constant use in Standard Written English is: "when the sex of the subject is unknown, it is permissible to use 'they' as a genderless singular pronoun". So if someone tells you that singular "they" is wrong, you can firmly tell them to go to hell.

Even later in the day: A scholar unpacks the fact that Wordsmiths have been coining gender-neutral pronouns for a century and a half, all to no avail. Coiners of these new words insist that the gender-neutral pronoun is indispensable, but users of English stalwartly reject, ridicule, or just ignore their proposals.